January Blues

January blues…a term flung around so often, and unfortunately so flippantly. Growing up, I was ignorantly unaware of the significance and sheer weight of the term’s meaning and the inner struggle it truly represents. Over the past couple of years more notably, I have noticed January’s eerie presence. A sudden realization of pressure. Pressure of upcoming university deadlines. The draining of finances mounting up to cause the collapsing pressure of your lungs; the shortening of your breath and sometimes more damaging the quick fire of your nerve, your patience. All building up to the melting of your character and the whimpering residue left behind of your spirit and soul.

The New Year so often not the song and dance it is built up to be. How do I deal with it? Unfortunately, I don’t. The turning of the year often tumbles down on me and sets off a spiral of anxiety and internal panic that rips me from inside out. Second guessing every decision, every thought and every impulse. I’m trying to say that I am just like you. I worry about the most insignificant and irrelevant things, building them up in my mind to the most monumental and unreachable summits. Try and breathe. Step back. Open up and talk to a loved one. Share that weight upon your shoulders. Take each day as it comes. The soothing sun of February along with its crisp cool air shall soon grace it presence upon your face and give you a new lease of life. Keep pushing. Keep fighting. Keep breaking down barriers and telling yourself you can do this, you will get better and you are never alone. I know this helps and this is true because this is what I tell myself every single day. A down day will pass. A new day will come and I count myself lucky for all the love in my life and support.

Followers of Finding Heather may have noticed recently I have been M.I.A. It is not because I don’t love writing and sharing my experience and struggles because I do, it is all a healing process for me. But, unfortunately recently I have myself been in a deep dark, lung squeezing battle with the January Blues. Fighting through each day and putting it into perspective. Please if you are struggling yourself this January, or any time or year, any stage of your life, do one thing. Open up, share your worries, your fears and your insecurities. It will help more than you think, it certainly has for me, I don’t want to hide in a box any longer.

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